TeamDuggan

I have made my personal goals (referred to as Key Result Areas(KRAs) by our mission organization) simple, concrete and, until today, have avoided those which I know would be beneficial, although unattainable. One such KRA, the monthly personal retreat day (known henceforth as a PRD) could not occur without sacrifice or intentionality.  How could a busy woman, wife, mom, volunteer, chauffeur, you get the picture- take time away from such duties and focus on God, re-evaluate priorities, goals, and ignore sustenance while seeking God on a normal weekday morning/afternoon? After spending the last five hours intentionally chatting and listening to God, I realized how much more productive and functional each one of us would be if we were to begin by scheduling these half-day portions of solitude.

Although my first actual PRD began with two children, my wonderful spouse, and  a guest in my house, I recognized that even a favorite corner of the house, with the door closed could allow me to focus intently on God until they vacated the premises. Moments after the family left , I realized that the peace was too deafening, so I turned on some soft (ok, maybe for some of you, more than upbeat praise music) for background noise. Time flew faster than I knew possible and I gained insight, was able to pray uninterruptedly (you know how moms pray while driving, and multitasking) while listening intently for God’s voice in the stillness.

Halfway through my time alone with the Lord, the construction noise on the other side of our concrete wall was no longer keeping time with the soft music so I walked up the hill behind our home, inhaled clean crisp air, and gazed at tropical beauty all around me. As I had fasted during lunch, and my attention and mind was fading, I greeted several local pulperia owners before I found my desired pick-me-up…a frosty Coca-Cola Zero.  I headed home, sought several favorite non-fiction Christian books, prayed intentional prayers for my spouse, family, and myself, while listening to the soothing rain on our metal roof ( the construction was rained out!).

And yes, now that the house is teaming with activity, I am thankful for the blessing of time alone with God, and am looking so forward to my next PRD in November. Dear friends, family, and fellow missionaries, take time to do this—it is more that I thought it’d be—and friendlier on the budget than a day at the spa! Guess I’ll add a quarterly PRD to my KRA’s now—and I hope to surpass that timetable!

     I remember the television images of 9/11, the household events of that day, and the eventual call by then President Bush to service( not just those in the military, but everyday Americans). That day was a pivotal day as I sat on a comfortable couch, recalled our year in Pakistan, and realized that, after returning from overseas in 1991, we had accumulated material possessions, dug in roots( a wonderful thing)in the beautiful Southeast, and lived a comfortable American lifestyle.

I began  praying that God would use me, a  homeschooling mom,  a nurse, a woman in some way to redeem human suffering in the world. He answered. I explained to my children, as best I could, what was happening many miles away, and we had a fundraiser for the Red Cross on our driveway, and thought we had helped, a little.

We became foster parents and loved on infants whose mothers gave them life as they awaited their permanent placements. Our family served together, and learned to love unconditionally, deeply, and sometimes wept as those we loved went to less than optimal situations.

We then adopted, and grew our family in a marvelous way, and taught our children that God made us all in His image. But we still lived the American dream, moved to a bigger house, and dug those roots in deeper.

God knew what He was doing. He was using our everyday lives to prepare us for what lay ahead.  Graduate school and homeschooling while taking 24 hour call? Surely not at this time in my life….you guessed it. It was part of the plan, and I was blessed to welcome 43 new babies into the world, to empower women in one of the most intimate experiences in their life, and to personalize each one with a pink or blue birthday cake. But not being able to fully communicate with all of my clients in the same way was frustrating, and left me a little disappointed. Was it possible to cross those language and cultural barriers?

And now, as I sit in a foreign country, having faced those first days wondering if I would ever be able to greet someone correctly in another language would be possible, I realize yes, it is.  It is not about perfection, it is able stepping forth and using what God has entrusted to me today. Using my time, my gifting, my life intentionally today. Sure, days happen when I lose that intentionality, and try to do too many things, without focus, and purpose. Monday was one of those days. Try putting a beautiful electric tea kettle with a molded plastic bottom on the glowing eye of an electric stove while making different breakfasts for each member of your household. You get billows of acrid smoke and a reminder to live life with intentionality.